I remember a time when the world looked so big and I was so excited to learn everything, smelled all the flowers, swim, run, climb trees, pick fresh juicy fruit from the trees, go on adventures in the evergreen woods that hid wild raspberry, Chasing the mighty red fox thinking it will take me to a fairy tale land, laying down in the grass and watch air planes go by, knowing that one day they will take me away too. That time when my best friends were animals, and birds and flowers, and the wild lands of my family's farm house were my Mystical playground. How I miss the days when I picked flowers and put them in my hair. When I played in the mud and danced in the rain . I hated naps and green beans stew, I run in the darkness catching firefly, laying on the cold ground at night looking at the stars imagining myself on an adventure in space, I believed back then that all the Greek gods live up there with angels and ancestors. I loved books and cats. That was heaven, that was happiness. I wish I could remember when the fracture happened, when I met evil for the first , when my heart was broken and my light was deemed... When I learned to smile even when I didn't mean it. I look now to then, and I know the pain, I remember and I have chosen to not let it consume me. You know how hard that is? Of course you do, we all do, every single one of us have lived in our own type of hel. But why do people choose to hurt people, why are words so cruel and our touches so violent and our hearts filled with deprivation. Like we are all students and teachers, we are rapists and victims, we are murderer and dead ones, we are lovers and loved ones, we are children and parents, we are friends and enemy, we are sinners and angels... We are humans with karmic attachments, we love, we hate, we cry to laugh we are born, we suffer and we die. And when I learned all this when I was all of you, when I cried all the tears and bleed all the sins I know, I know that I am more, I have more, I can more. And the journey started and I went back to my old passion and I read and I seek, and I got lost, and lost myself and tried to embrace another version that looked like me, talked like me but was dead inside, while I was in a dark prison covered with the vail of ignorance doing my best to fit in. And time went by and I could not find the way, and something happened and the pills the given me, and the talks we did and the image I created wasn't enough, but this time wasn't enough for me. And I found her in a Amethyst cluster, the child from long time ago, that space princess my best friend, my higher self, and age was always there she says, crying with me, screaming inside when they hurt me, holding my hand in that rainy day when I became a sinner. Once I found her the future began for me and I embrace the past and I let go of the pain and glorify my scars and blossom in power. From that day much work has been done, much healing and much knowledge coming around, I have found my way, my call and my people. What was once fear and anxiety become flow of energy, I now know kindness and love, I now know the old ways, and I embrace them. What they called anxiety became my gut instinct, my intuition, my first step into the beautiful world of energy work. i feel like I have found the magic world I was looking for decades ago when I was following the red fox, listening to the intense scream of the crows. I finally understand, embrace and respect the power. I m so grateful for the pain, the love and the teachings, because it took so many of you touching me in so many ways until I bloomed in my power, In my light, in my sexuality, In my goddess body and spirit. This post of for all of you thank you,because of your actions good or bad I m here today, teaching people how to heal, love and care for their self. This is for the stranger that encouraged me to write. This is for me, and it doesn't come from a egoistic place. It comes from kindness, acceptance, love, light and peace. Thank you, love always Loredana.
