I realized in this past couple of weeks that a feeling or sense of sadness began showing up in my body while my mind was full of creativity and new ideas. I told myself it may the the weather changing ,or maybe i m tired from all the business of the last months ,i can't be sad i just got married, my family was here ,i have so many blessings in my life . So i pushed through thinking I needed just a little extra rest, maybe a longer reiki session at bedtime or maybe I need to get things done faster ,record some meditations ,create more crystal bracelets....Then I realized my mind was catching up to my body and some old wounds bellow the surface were coming up ...
I see how common this is ,to live long periods of our lives with old wounds under our skin and for many reasons we fail to see them .
Suppression is something we humans are great at . We suppress because of our beliefs system ,the way we were brought up or we suppress because we know that if we pay attention we may have to do the hard work of re-evaluate our life,or maybe we suppress because we are just trying to get through our life in a fast safe way and paying attention to stressors takes time and energy that sometimes we don't have .
So here is what the mind does, it lies to us ,it tells us we are not feeling what we are feeling and sometimes it may even make up a story in order to avoid what is underneath.
So that is why in our reiki / mindfulness practice we stay present and listen to the body ,because the body tells the truth . All we have to do is turn to the body with kindness and curiosity and it will show us how we feel. And when that happens we meet ourselves with compassion.
All of us remember a time when our body was telling us something and the mind was creating a different story. Then one day something shows up in the body that can't be ignored and we are finally compelled to listen.
Listening to your body is a practice, just like meditation and it can help us bring the mind and the body back in balance, and when we listen to our bodies we discover deep truths.
The next time you catch yourself felling something at the edge of your consciousness, resist the urge to label or fallow the minds response. Instead pay attention to your torso ,your heart, your belly ,shoulders ...what happens when you are breathing? In the muscles of your face ,is the felling heavy or light ,tense or loose......It’s texture.
And then you inhale in the feeling and exhale from the feeling.
With openness, curiosity and respect ask your body "What do you need to show me ?"
And when you ask your questions be kind and have no judgment. Be present with no "to do list" .
If you are in a hurry, your body won't release it's truth.
You need to sit and wait ,stay with the fellings and the body and connected to the breath.
My body told me i was suppressing grief and anger because I couldn't help the one I loved live longer so my brain was making up stories where I felt ashamed and like a failure. My body also told me that my mind held on a cruel comment someone made in the early stage of my grief over one year ago. My mind lied to me for months trying to avoid what was underneath but my body told me the truth, so I give myself a day to sit with all that is,in order to discover the truth under the suppression and to meet myself with compassion and understanding just like I do with others .
So I invite you to try this practice of staying with the fellings in your body remaining connected to your breath and see what shows up for you .
Your body is your in ancient library of truths. Learn them all .
Love to you.